Thursday, November 18, 2010

Facebook Friend

I'll admit that I'm not a great friend, I guess you could just call me a "facebook friend". Always around, but not really there. I've always tried to blame it on the fact that we moved around a lot when I was a kid, so I never got to keep the same friends for more than a few years. I had one friend from 5th grade, Shannon, that tried hard to keep in touch with me. It was my fault that we no longer really communicate. And I deeply regret that, for I had in her, truly a best friend that I lost. (Although, I did find her on facebook, yay!)

Ok, so the point I'm trying to get at: is my excuse is really just an excuse? My sister, only two years older than me, is a great friend to all her past friends from every place we've lived. She has made their friendship her priority. So what is wrong with me? I'm such a bad friend that I have told friends that after we or they move, I probably won't do a good job of staying up to date with them.

I'm a bad friend to any friend I used to have but no longer see. I'm sorry.

Change of subject, but it'll all loop back around, I promise.

Last night James and I were talking about how he would get into fist fights as a kid. The person he got into the most fist fights with was his best friend! I couldn't understand this. Not for the life of me. Why would two people who claim to be best friends, want to hit each other? I went to sleep perplexed. In the morning, I reread something my friend from high school (yep, still my friend!) wrote about me on facebook. It's one of those things where I had to hit "like" in order for her to answer a bunch of questions about me. Here it is:

@ Alicia 1- I've gotten to see all of your fabulous cakes when you post them on your facebook 2- You used to be red, but now you are lilac 3- My first memory of you was at church when we were Beehives, and I remember the first time you cal...led my Aunt Marnee, "Aunt Marnee" because you thought it was just a token title - you didn't know she was actually my aunt 4- You are a Dog, and I mean that in the very best way - you are dependable and loyal through and through 5- I've always wondered how I stack up against all of the new friends you have in your ward 6- My favorite thing about you is that no matter how long it's been since I've talked to you, I can call you and it feels like I can still say anything 7- My first impression of you was that you were pretty and you were competition and that you must be eliminated. ;-)

Did you see #5? Go back and read it again. I think I know why Jill wonders how she stacks up against all of my new friends. You see, every week I write an email that tells about my week. I send it to my whole family, and to two very good friends. Jill and Carlee. I don't ever spend time with Jill or Carlee, or talk to them on a regular basis, but I do spend time with other friends and I write about it in my email. #5 made me ponder how Jill does stack up against my other friends. And this is what I came to realize:

Jill and I used to fight. A lot. If girls were the type to get into fist fights, we both would have had some bruised eyes and broken noses. (Instead, girls fight with words.) But I know Jill and I will always be friends, because, well, we just will. We made a pinky promise to be neighbors in heaven, and that kind of promise doesn't just go away. Jill and I may not speak on a regular basis, but somehow our friendship became more solidified than any other.

I have to take a quick second to mention that the same goes for my friend Carlee. We've just been through too much with each other. I actually think we did hit each other a few times. :)

Is it the fighting with each other that marks the sign of a lasting friendship? I hope not. Because I have some great friends right now that I have never wanted to hit. I still doubt myself that I will be capable of keeping up with them if one or the other of us ever moves. But, I'd like to think that I'm growing up and can be more capable of being a good friend.


Jill said...

Oh, Jaws, I love you so much that I kind of want to smack you around a little bit just to prove that I mean it!

Jen and Fielding said...

Lol -great comment Jill.

You don't have to get in fights to be a great friend, but you do need to make it through them when you do. That and a real friend will be there when you need them. They love you.

carlee said...

You're what they call a low-maintainence friend...and that is a compliment! Also, I'm a firm believer that (most) friends come and go in life. They are there for a while when you need them, then you can say thanks for that and go on. Every once in a while you have one that sticks around that you just can't seem to get rid of ;)

I also remember a bruise or two with you, ha! No harm done.