Thursday, November 18, 2010

Facebook Friend

I'll admit that I'm not a great friend, I guess you could just call me a "facebook friend". Always around, but not really there. I've always tried to blame it on the fact that we moved around a lot when I was a kid, so I never got to keep the same friends for more than a few years. I had one friend from 5th grade, Shannon, that tried hard to keep in touch with me. It was my fault that we no longer really communicate. And I deeply regret that, for I had in her, truly a best friend that I lost. (Although, I did find her on facebook, yay!)

Ok, so the point I'm trying to get at: is my excuse is really just an excuse? My sister, only two years older than me, is a great friend to all her past friends from every place we've lived. She has made their friendship her priority. So what is wrong with me? I'm such a bad friend that I have told friends that after we or they move, I probably won't do a good job of staying up to date with them.

I'm a bad friend to any friend I used to have but no longer see. I'm sorry.

Change of subject, but it'll all loop back around, I promise.

Last night James and I were talking about how he would get into fist fights as a kid. The person he got into the most fist fights with was his best friend! I couldn't understand this. Not for the life of me. Why would two people who claim to be best friends, want to hit each other? I went to sleep perplexed. In the morning, I reread something my friend from high school (yep, still my friend!) wrote about me on facebook. It's one of those things where I had to hit "like" in order for her to answer a bunch of questions about me. Here it is:

@ Alicia 1- I've gotten to see all of your fabulous cakes when you post them on your facebook 2- You used to be red, but now you are lilac 3- My first memory of you was at church when we were Beehives, and I remember the first time you cal...led my Aunt Marnee, "Aunt Marnee" because you thought it was just a token title - you didn't know she was actually my aunt 4- You are a Dog, and I mean that in the very best way - you are dependable and loyal through and through 5- I've always wondered how I stack up against all of the new friends you have in your ward 6- My favorite thing about you is that no matter how long it's been since I've talked to you, I can call you and it feels like I can still say anything 7- My first impression of you was that you were pretty and you were competition and that you must be eliminated. ;-)

Did you see #5? Go back and read it again. I think I know why Jill wonders how she stacks up against all of my new friends. You see, every week I write an email that tells about my week. I send it to my whole family, and to two very good friends. Jill and Carlee. I don't ever spend time with Jill or Carlee, or talk to them on a regular basis, but I do spend time with other friends and I write about it in my email. #5 made me ponder how Jill does stack up against my other friends. And this is what I came to realize:

Jill and I used to fight. A lot. If girls were the type to get into fist fights, we both would have had some bruised eyes and broken noses. (Instead, girls fight with words.) But I know Jill and I will always be friends, because, well, we just will. We made a pinky promise to be neighbors in heaven, and that kind of promise doesn't just go away. Jill and I may not speak on a regular basis, but somehow our friendship became more solidified than any other.

I have to take a quick second to mention that the same goes for my friend Carlee. We've just been through too much with each other. I actually think we did hit each other a few times. :)

Is it the fighting with each other that marks the sign of a lasting friendship? I hope not. Because I have some great friends right now that I have never wanted to hit. I still doubt myself that I will be capable of keeping up with them if one or the other of us ever moves. But, I'd like to think that I'm growing up and can be more capable of being a good friend.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

My Daddy

I miss my dad. He died over three years ago, and I regret a lot things about not having him around anymore. My regrets mostly revolve around the fact that I don't have any good pictures of him. Theses two are pretty much the best ones I've got.

I like the above picture because I think James is A LOT like my dad. I guess I should ask my mom if she feels that way too. They also have birthday's one day apart. Hence they are both blowing out the candles. I like that I have a picture with both of them together.

You can tell in the one below how sick he was near the end. He passed just 6 months after this picture was taken. This was on my mom's birthday. As an interesting side note, I made both of the cakes. This was a time before my cake decorating fetish. But I had my fetish for eating good cake. :)
Another regret I have is not taking more advantage of the time I had with him, to ask him stories about himself etc. He loved to answer any questions, about anything, we ever had. That made him a great dad.
Anyway, like I said, he's been gone for over three years and I miss him. However, Heavenly Father blessed me with one of His tender mercies. About a year ago I pulled a random book off a shelf at my mom's house. (I don't remember what the book was.) But inside the book was a folded up piece of paper. Just at first glance it looks like a typed up letter and almost immediately I saw at the bottom of the page it said "written by Ronald E. Ward". That's my dad. My curiosity was piqued. I hurried to read what the letter said and was extremely surprised and touched by what I read.
May 29, 2002
When you start getting older there is a lot that can make you feel bad. You can't do half the things you used to do. You're no longer interested in most of the things that used to be entertaining. You can't remember things. It takes you twice as long to do basic chores. Your body aches when you want to lie down and rest.
There are so many things to make you feel bad that it's a very good thing to have your tail-end, last child be a happy, caring daughter. When my energy level would take me no further than the garage to play with some old worn out cars, Alicia was very supportive and even wanted to drive them for me.
Alicia has always been happy - and patient, with her elderly parents. I know she felt cheated to be raised by grandparents - who just happen to be her parents! but she has managed it well. When there are so many children in the family, someone has to be raised by old people.
Alicia has faced other challenges as well, and has been tenacious in holding out for what she thinks is best. Some of you may have heard us call her by her favorite nickname: "Jaws". She got that name by biting the side out of a glass cup when she was only about 3 years old. I think the milk wasn't coming out fast enough. We continued using the name, and she has been like a shark in going for things that are important to her. One challenge has been her position as child number 8, behind 7 strong, successful siblings. I know she has felt intimidated by them some times, but she has been "shark like" in establishing her self as a very talented and successful young lady. She has made the most of her situation and opportunities. (Here he hand wrote a note: trumpet, piano, singing.)
As a pre-schooler, she was once delivered to her school on a day when there was no class. When we realized the mistake and went to look for her, we found she was having a grand time just playing around the class room, making the most of her situation.
She is still like that. She can size up a situation and see what good can come from it, making that her focus.
She certainly deserves the Young Womanhood Recognition award. I know this is just the beginning of many notable accomplishments that will follow in her life.
written by Ronald E. Ward
I have zero memory of my dad reading this when I accepted my Young Womanhood Recognition award. And why it was stuck is some book is a mystery to me. But, now I have it and it is a treasure.
I miss you dad, but thank you for leaving me this small piece of you that lets me know that you are proud of me. I hope that I can always make you proud. Love you.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Happy Birthday Mary!

It's not really her birthday yet, but I got to celebrate with her tonight. I don't normally bake birthday cakes for all my friends, but I got an idea for this cake and it reminded me a lot of my friend Mary, so I had to make it for her.

This picture confused James. We are not technologically savvy, so he didn't realize that Mary was actually taking a picture. He thought she was just on her phone. :)
A close up.

I had some good fun with this cake. I normally don't have so much creative release on a cake. Of course I see all the flaws on it, but for the most part, I am happy. I think the thing that made me happiest about this cake was that I got to paint it. I'm no artist, but I can handle painting in the lines, so to speak. Ok, ok I'm done talking about it. I hope you all like it to!